Facebook Archive: September 2019 part three

Keeping strong, with some awesome responses to my posts, I reverted back to a few memes, finding my own words just not right or fitting and so these happened:

~Ha! I love this one. It's sooo perfectly me! :D

~This one just made me smile - I wished it were true for me at the time but it gave a little hope at least:

By now, we'd reached the midway point of the month and my meme addiction started to abate a little, allowing me to attempt to write some actual words...just a few though.

16th September 2019

Anxiety / Depression

When you don't have the words to accurately describe how you feel and yet you feel you need to tell someone, say something, even rant or rage online but just... Can't.

This is the closest I've ever gotten to explaining it and yet this doesn't say anywhere near enough!

~Dammit! Not quite pearls of wisdom but it's what I had and I went with it.

17th September 2019

Just taking a moment here to acknowledge all the awesome people in my life. I once wouldn't have imagined having more than one or two people I could call friend. Now, I am honoured, privelidged and happy to call many of you family AND friend.

I go through hard times, periods where I don't see the goodness and love which surrounds me but I promise that when I do come through those times, I appreciate you all even more because you're all still there, ready and willing to help however you can.
Anxiety and depression are beasts I have to live and fight with but that you all choose to fight alongside me is just so humbling.
Thank you.

#Anxiety
#Depression
#IWillWin

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Facebook Archive: September 2019 part one (The first 'real' post)

September was the month I finally started to face the face that I was a mess, I needed help but more importantly, I needed to help myself... 1st September 2019 5th September 2019 Note: This is my own image which I added the words to. No idea if it's a particular quote, just words which came to me. 7th December 2019 This is the one...the first 'real' post publicly acknowledging what was going on. Admitedly, slightly hidden by being in the comments rather than the post itself but anyway... Emmas first time cooking. # IWillWin # AnxietyCannotBeatMe *Insert Photos of my baby-girl cooking* Comments from me: Anxiety... A funny word in itself and one which carries an awful lot of weight and pressure for those of us unfortunate enough to suffer with strong bouts of it. I've suffered all my life. As an adult, my struggles have become more apparent. As a paren t, they're unreal. I'm sure I'm not the worst sufferer in the world but ...

Facebook Archive: September 2019 Part four (Another issue faced & Back to work)

With my mood apparently improving, I now had to face another issue... 21st September 2019 One of my best friends got married on this day. The run up to the wedding had been a tough few days. Lots going on, to be done, last minute emergencies etc. As a self-confessed helper/fixer, I was called upon to help and fix things and ended up dragging both my sisters in to help very last minute on the day. My darling daughters helped spectacularly, too and the day went off almost without a hitch. The reason I mention it is because my friend asked me to speak at the wedding for her. Public speaking is not a thing I do. I hated the idea and had already lined up my eldest to do it if I couldn't but given what I was trying to do, I agreed to at least try. Here's the post from that day... This is what happens when people get married! Omg, what a day. Starting at 04:45 Saturday and finishing at 00:30 Sunday, I can honestly say it was one of the most wonderful and challenging d...

Facebook Archive: September 2019 part two

So, after that first post was up and I got a couple of positive responses to its very small audience, I wanted to do more...so I did, the very next day. 8th September 2019 # IWillWin # Anxiety Following on from yesterday... Emma started the cooking process but soon got bored waiting for the eggs to boil so she waited it out in the comfort of the living room, giving me the kitchen back. Emma peeled them once cooked and cooled so she did her bit but she did that at the breakfast bar, not in the kitchen. So, it wasn't quite as big a test as it could've been but we did it and nothing bad happened. Emma wanted to try again today, so I let her. This time, she stayed and told me excitedly when the water was boiling and counted the minutes until the eggs were done. It's still hard, harder today than yesterday but I'm determined to do this and Elle has agreed to try cooking something with me tomorrow. Her being older should be better for me, I think but she also know...

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